Oh i know...it is about dang time right?

It is cold here. I walked into my apartment and it was 55 degrees. I know I am a slight bit stingy when it comes to running my heat...but it is dang cold. Winter in NC is fun. It is chilly one day and beautifully sunny the next. Yesterday and today it actually snowed:)

I know it is about time that i updated the world on my whereabouts for the past couple months since my last post.

Let me just say this. Adjustments. It is insane when you wake up one day and realize that you are truly on your own. When you look around and wonder what made you decide to move yourself literally across the country. A co-worker and I were staring at the map the other day and he says "um...do you realize you literally moved ACROSS the country." Ha.

These past 7 months have been insane. I graduated, moved, started a new job, watched my bf go, started making friends, joined a new church, felt ubberly lonely, celebrated my 23rd, realized a bunch of things about myself, and am being pursued by the Lord again.

I have a lot of hard days, but have a lot of good days as well. I have come to find that life outside of college is all about being intentional. You have to make a decision to get involved, make friends, and decide how you want life to go. There are a lot of days when i am tired from a long day at work...but going home to an empty apartment seems dreadful. So I am having to be intentional...

After the holidays i am excited for: Starting to volunteer as a Wish Granter for Make-A-Wish, starting training for the Rock and Roll Marathon in SD in June, buying a bike, joining a meet-up group, adopting a family in NC, going back to Charlotte to visit the Johnsons again, taking a train up to DC and maybe eventually to NYC, having my Cali friends come and visit me, going to the J.Crew outlet in Virginia with Brady, starting to lead a bible study with Ashley, and learning a lot.

While these past few months have been rather tough, I am thankful for the journey. It is shaping and building my character. I am learning to lean on the Lord and to fully embrace each day. While I haven't taken too too many pics, I did want to leave you with a few from these past few months.

1/2 marathon in San Diego for my 23rd b-day.

Central Cal with the Family for Thanksgiving '09

My first Corporate Party. A few little details and the night was a total success. Raleigh Country Club, amazing food, and good times with the co-workers.

This year i have my very own Christmas tree. I started an ornament collection and here is my favorite little snowman.

Oh Christmas is just right around the corner. 5 days and I will be back in Cali.

So here is to a New Year, a new journey, and new memories! Cheers:)

Tid Bits...

1. The little things...

After an amazing little walk downtown Cary, I happened upon a tiny little flower shop. I have no idea why flowers bring such joy to my life, but they do. So as I stepped out of the shop that day...it is no wonder my heart was beaming. The owner had presented me with a beautiful Rose. "Wouldn't it feel great to walk down the street with a beautiful flower?" He replied. Oh the little things that make me smile.

2. Simple Smiles

I had the chance to spend the weekend with three cuties in Charlotte, NC. I was definitely in need of some kid time...and let me just say. I got me some good kid time. The Johnson's were amazing and I can't wait to go back and visit soon!

3. NC State Fair

Let me just say... the FAIR was amazing. Our philosophy was to taste the fair. So we literally asked each person their desired fair treat and navigated through the masses of people to find that treat. 1. Ashley - Funnel Cake. 2. Meredith - Deep friend Oreo's and salt water toffee 3. Judy - Chocolate Covered Bacon 4. Shy - Kettle Corn 5. Krystal - Corn and Deep fried Cheese

We laughed...smiled...and took in the variety of people that made their yearly appearance to the state fair. And some how steered clear of the deep friend butter!

4. A trip to see the changing leaves

I became as the locals like to call them a "Leaf Follower." My friend Krystal and I took a trip up to Boone and Blowing Rock. While we soon found that a snow storm had pretty much wiped the leaves out, we still enjoyed the Blue Ridge parkway and the change of scenery. Take note...if you are going to drive 3 hours up to the Mountains to see leaves changing...make sure you didn't miss them.

Our Hike:)

Not in Cali anymore:)

So there are some tid-bits from my life recently. It is AMAZING not having to work on the weekends anymore! And I am looking forward to the coming weeks as they will be packed:) Grandparents visit...Birthday in SD...Thanksgiving in Central Cal...Holiday Parties...lots of fun stuff! Stay Posted!

Life is so fragile....

These past weeks have been so eye-opening! Working in HR has been such an amazingly stressful job yet at the core of it...it awakens my eye's to how fragile life really is. It is now my job to understand, care for, and support a staff of 90 people. It is my job to get offices set up, plan events, do paperwork, and make people feel welcome. While my to-do list continues to stretch by the second...and days like yesterday make me wonder why I chose to embark on this type of career, there are little moments that remind me that life is so fragile...and that I am blessed to be in the position that I am.

It is the moment that an employee comes to me to share that a family member is dying and they just needed to tell someone. Or the employee whose smile is beaming as he celebrates his recent wedding with me. It is the employee whose wife is ready to bring a new little one into the world. It is the fragile moments when people allow me into their very private world and for just one second I am reminded that there is a world outside of work. That people are struggling, loving, learning, yearning, and just need a little support. That is why I love my job.

Life is fragile. At any given moment something might happen that was unexpected. Life can shift, turn, and change in an instant. And I want to make it my job to love the people I work with. Learn to keep myself from taking it on...but simply offer a hug, ear, or little image of God's love.

Dang...life is fantastic.

Oh Fall is in the Air...

Sorry... I know it has been a few weeks since my last update, but i have been super busy!

So I thought I would update you all (did you notice that I didn't say ya'll...keeping this Cali accent is getting harder by the day!).

So, the last time I wrote I had just been promoted to HR assistant. As of this week my job is crazier than ever, but the learning is still really awesome. I am learning the balance between life and worklife. Sometimes walking away at the end of the day is hard...but as the weeks turn over, it is getting easier.

I AM DONE with CRACKER BARREL finally! 3 months of it was enough for me and this last Friday night was my last 14 hour day. Thank goodness:) Here was the amazing uniform that defined my weekends for the past couple of months!

Now that I am done with Cracker Barrel, I am free! The upcoming weekends are going to be incredible. A few things on the Agenda...The State Fair, BlueRidge Parkway, J.Crew Outlet with Lailani, and other fun things with the Small Group.

I went running this morning in Umstead State Park and noticed that finally a few leaves are changing. The air was crisp and i am so jazzed about the coming weeks transforming the rest of the trees! Here is a sneek peek of what is to come in NC.

So life is pretty great. While at times the learning curve for a 22 year old single recent grad is a wee bit much ie. (New Job, New state, Insurance, Budget, New Drivers License, kinda being lonely at times, car making funny noises, still needing a hubcap...and on and on...), I am still loving it.

And in less than 6 weeks, I will be in CA to run the 1/2 marathon! So good:)

So as I leave, I thought I would just leave a little snap shot of where I spend my lunches...yep that is a lake folks. A crystal blue lake! So nice. Lake Johnson about 1 mile from where I work.

Taking flight...

One of my favorite parts about keeping a journal is when you can look back on all the crazy twists and turns that life takes and just smile. I was reading my journal just now from this spring and am baffled by the lessons and growth that has taken place. I was reading an entry from the last day of college and the crazy emotions that were bottled up in my heart. So incredibly uncertain as to where I would be in the upcoming weeks and months. Having no idea how I would ever move on from a place that I had called home for 4 years. I was scared and uncertain.

My two songs of the moment had been, "While I am Waiting" by John Waller and "Brighter Days" by Leeland. Songs about the uncertainties of life, but still having the courage to trust that God's plan far exceeded what I had ever dreamed.

Jump to the feeling when I crossed the state line into NC. I felt this exhilarating and powerful sense of peace. An exciting and thrilling yet slightly terrifying feeling at the pit of my stomach. I had no idea why I was in this crazy new state, but I knew that it already felt amazing.

Then to my entry in the early parts of July describing how discouraged I was. I still didn't see how little pieces would fit together. I was discouraged about my job hunt, was still trying to make friends, and had no idea how I would live without my Bf if she moved.

Jump 2 months ahead. September 15th 2009. God is Good. He hears my heart and He provides in ways that I cannot describe.

I have an amazing job. I just found out this past week that I am being promoted! After less than 2 months as an Administrative Assistant at Medfusion, I am being promoted. I will soon be the HR Assistant for a company that is bursting at the seams. I am getting free training and am LEARNING so much! And I am loving even the stressful moments.

God put me in a church that is so amazing. It so aligns with my heartbeat it is crazy. I am challenged each week and am constantly encouraged to use my hands....not just my words.

I have FRIENDS! Not only have I made some great friends at work, but I am also apart of a small group that is so fantastic. We are RAW. Real and getting deeper by the week. These girls have my heart.

I had NO idea what life would look like outside of college! A new friend and I were having dinner tonight and we both laughed thinking that life would be dull outside of college. UM...yeah right. I finally have time to try all the things I was too busy to try before.

I am crossing things off my bucket list right and left. My passion for life is continuing to grow and so are my cooking skills:)

I am truly happy. I wake up the morning to birds chirping, fog rolling off the pond, and a cool breeze. If you could snap a picture of what I desired in my heart 6 months ago, this is it. I am home.

So there is my September update. I have no idea where I will be in 6 months from now. But one thing is certain... I will soak it up. For each journal entry holds a story and I am just starting this crazy novel of life.

Where to begin...

This weekend has been rough.

It is a little before 9 on Labor Day and i am surrounded by candles. George Winston is floating in the background and I am truly alone. The weekend crafts are finished, the cookies have been baked, and the apartment has been cleaned. I wondered what this feeling might feel like, but now I am surrounded with quiet and am not sure really how to handle the swirl of emotions swimming in my head.

I am on my own. I am in a state, apartment, bedroom...all alone. There is this mix between freeing and terrifying feelings buzzing in my heart. My near and dear BF moved away from me this weekend and while it was time, it doesn't remove the fact that the quiet is a constant reminder of her departure.

I am a big girl now. I am truly on my own for the first time in my life and it scares the crap out of me. I know that God has, is, and will provide for me...but it is still scary. I am lonely. I am lonely, okay so there i said it.

I felt something this weekend that I haven't felt in a long time. The longing for a man. I think for a long time I pushed away the thought of a man, in fear that i would have to once again divide my time between my best friend and boyfriend. And while that sounds silly, if you had a bf like Deanna you would understand. She is way too cool to neglect.

But with her departure something in my heart burst open. Maybe a brick wall had formed around those desires...and now slowly but surely they are coming down brick by brick. While i feel like i am open to the thought of being in a relationship, I also have a strong inclination that it will still be a while. Which also forces me to really be okay with where God has me. To enjoy the quiet and to continue growing as a single women. To realize that there will be lonely weekends where i am truly alone, but also realize that this may be the only point in my life where I can find the time to breath...learn...and grow...ALONE.

So as the apartment stays quiet for the next who knows how long...i will rejoice in this space. I will leave a mess on the counter, walk around in my sports bra, and sing a the top of my lungs. For this girl is on her own. ON HER OWN. In a state, apartment, job, church, and place that she loves.

Back to Chris Botti and Redeeming Love I go!

My weekend thus far

So my bf and I had a girl date last night as her departure is just around the horizon (a week from today). Talk about a great night. We went to saw Post Grad with Alexis Bladel. SO good. It is kind of strange when you feel so much like the main character it is kind of creepy. The movie so depicts where D and my lives are, it is scary. HA. I rarely want to buy movies...but that will be on my to-buy list for sure.

After the movie we went to get some dinner at this little cafe around the corner, too bad they were closing. So we grabbed some food and finished off the perfect meal with some Panera Chai. I just sat their smiling and thinking about how fantastic life is. Two friends just giggling over some great food and dreaming of the future. The rain was falling outside and I could smell fall in the air. I finally coined my favorite season as FALL. Changing leaves, warm fires, and holiday on the horizon. Oh so good.

This morning I checked something off my bucket list.
73. Drive down a random road and get lost on purpose

I just drove around Morrisville and Cary finding random roads. I found new neighborhoods, a farmers market, and these crazy boys super excited about waving little arrow signs. And I found my dream house. With a huge porch and everything! It had this cute little fence and porch swing.

So here is a picture, but i couldn't get ubberly close...they might have called the cops.


I love NC. I can't say that enough. It is absolutely beautiful. I almost feel like i am watching a movie of someone else's life when they find something "JUST RIGHT." I am so excited about getting out there and exploring every little piece of this state. Such joy!

And I found a favorite new artist. Erin McCarly. So so good.

Well I am off to Cracker Barrel. And as corny as this sounds, I am kinda excited to go to work. I love the people in there and the ladies have become like second families to me. I haven't been in there in 2 weeks. Strange.